This is my attempt to recount the events that have taken and will take place during this journey. My goal is to write a daily log to record this amazing transformation within me.
About a month ago, I realized that despite what I thought, I’ve been trying to do this grad school thing on my own, and I’ve been miserable. I can truly say that the past two years have been hell. And sadly, life can be that harsh if God is not the focus. The worry, stress, failure, unhappiness and discontentment were all by products of my failure to trust God with every detail of my life. See God, has always been in the picture in my life. He has been my convenient God. I called on Him when it was convenient, thought about Him when my mind wasn’t too busy worrying about other things, prayed when I needed something or praised Him when things went well. I gave Him all the things that were easy for me to relinquish, but not everything. Part of my flesh believes that I can somehow do it on my own. Perhaps it’s my personality. I’m driven. I like to make things happen, and I’ve been blessed with intelligence. This combination proves harmful when God seeks to assume control of all the things I believe I can handle. All this time I’ve been trying to succeed through my own efforts. And only when my own efforts prove futile do I call on Him.
So, I’ve taken the oath, “I commit the next six months of my life for Your construction. I will surrender any area which is not controlled by You so that my life will bring You glory.” I’m excited about the prospect of growing my personal faith, trusting God with all my heart and making Him the center of my life. Let the journey begin!!!
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